Long ago in the city of calgary there was this character who was truly passionate about riding his mtn bikes.Every now and again he would drink a few to many beers while ridding and the usual would happen,well one cold fall night he was ridding along beside this chainlink fence that ran parallel to a main drag in the city known as McKnight blvd. Well he went to go through an opening in a small cable fence and hooked a pedal,it wasnt a bad wipe out by any means one of those slow motion types.He’s wearing a parka so no chance of freezing and right gooned decides to have a little nap.A resident living in a house by the cyclists misadventure must have thought he wiped out and knocked himself unconcious.The person called 911 and EMS and fire were dispatched allong with police.Well the officer must have forgotten some of his first aide training due to his aproach of the cyclist.The officer was face to face with the cyclist when he woke up.All the cyclist could see was a pair of eyes staring at him not fully awake and a brownbelt in jujitsu he grabed the officers wrist with one hand and the other levered his elbow up and if not for the firemen intervening the officer would have suffered a nasty broken arm.Well then the cyclist beholds this vision of beauty,green eyes long glistening blonde hairalmost to her waist,they had known each other for some time.As she calmed the cyclist down and he became fully aware of his situation.Medics straped him to the gurney from the ambulance and as she loaded him in the first officer jumps up on the gurny and tries ramming a small breathalizer unit in the mouth of the cyclist.Well at this blatant assault the helpless cyclist bit down hard as he could on the breathslizer unit breaking it while the medic tried protcting him and with the help of 2 firemen they tossed the officer out of the ambulance.Well of course she gets me mellowed out, then we discuss who i took to prom of course and othet things ,tells me im quite the cowboy.They eventually make it to the general hospital were the cyclist is sort of admited yet left strapped to the gurney.Under extreme protest the cyclist pleads with the medic to undo the straps so he can take the mother of all pisses and she casually laughs and walks away to go get a coffee or something.Well the cyclist just starts cursing and works on the straps he gets the shoulders out from under the top strap but in doing so almost flips the heavy gurney upside down on himself.The nurses come over tell him to shut up waking half the hospital and undo the other straps so he can get to the washroom.upon returning to the nurses station he asks if they know who has his mtn bike and they say the firemen have it.Off he goes out the front doors across the field to the c-train station and heads to the firehall to get his bike.As the cyclist slowly worked his way back to the firehall it would seem unknown to him of course that a full blown search of all the rooms closets out buildings and such and our poor cyclist was listed as an escaped EDP(emotionaly disturbed person) the authority even went so far as to hault trains and baricade off roads goin into downtown.Well our cyclist finally makes it to the temple firehall and buzzes the door.When i hear the door open i stick my head inside and ask if they have my bike,well the look on there faces was priceless especially after i ask what all the exitment is about comming over the speakers in the house. They say its for me and i reply so how long till the cops get here haha and of course it was the officer i almost broke the arm of.So they made me pay for my little disappearing act and stuck me in the drunk tank for the day.it wasnt until years later that the medic and the cyclist were put together again thatbhe had the chance to tell her how i got off the damn gurney.Aparently she was at the mercy of all the firemens jokes for years not to mention the black mark in her file.Well i certainly do hope some of the people involved in my shenanigans get to read this and it in some small way redeems her with the knowledge that it was the nurses all along that let me off that gurney. Your welcome David Bailey… And thats how i got the nickname The Mad MTN. Biker
Bitch'n with Diamond Dave 